If I Had Never Met You

If I had never met you,

and had never learned how love can swallow you whole,

then maybe I wouldn’t move through the day, wide awake, but afraid to live.

I’d survive moment to moment, each moment moving so fast that I can’t slow down.

If I had never met you,

and never learned the way your love speaks, 

then maybe words that are harsh would speak more meaning to me.

If I had never met you, 

and never learned the boundaries of your love,

then maybe time wouldn’t hold me hostage,

keeping me stuck in a loop that caters only to you.

And if I had never met you,

and never learned how to love you,

then maybe I’d recount my memories,

return back to the child sitting on the beach, 

waiting impatiently, 

for a love that is never to come.

If only I had never met you.

- Kaliliko