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Ask A Friend: Advice Column Week 5

Hello Parker Press readers! Welcome back to Parker Press' advice column: Ask a Friend. We have created this advice column with the intention to foster a designated safe space for peers to be open about things they might be struggling with or have questions about and give each another guidance. The floor is always open to anyone who is seeking advice! Every posting, Parker Press staff respond to questions they receive under their personal pen names. HOW TO SUBMIT Anyone can submit questions via this form or dm us directly. There is also a red heart-shaped box in the upper hall between the two chairs in front of the mural where you can submit questions on paper. You can sign your questions with your actual name, your initials, or a pen name---it's completely up to you Disclaimer: Advice from Parker Press is given by students on the Parker Press staff and is by no means a professional opinion. While every contributor has the best intentions, please take any advice given with a grain of salt, as every situation is very unique to each individual. Please keep questions school appropriate. Parker Press is by no means obligated to respond to questions that fall outside of these perimeters or are a violation someone's privacy. We hope you enjoy! Note: If we don't get to your question this posting, stay tuned for the next one, as it may take us a lil while to get to all the submissions we receive!

Q: How can I stay motivated over summer break?

- ProductiveQueen

Dear ProductiveQueen, we all know motivation doesn’t come easily. Even more so, the lack of motivation isn’t something that can simply be cured. With summer just around the corner, it is going to be easy for all of us to vegetate in the comfort of our beds, enjoying the lack of homework, tests, projects, and presentations. However, the overload of relaxation can have consequences, including losing motivation to do anything. That is where I step in. I have a few tips to help maintain productivity throughout the summer months.

  1. Exercise: This does not mean running 6 miles every morning (unless that’s your favorite activity) but rather getting the heart rate going. Doing some stretching, a walk, or going for a swim are all great ways to get the blood flowing and get endorphins. Endorphins help boost dopamine and create a natural happiness. Furthermore, I would suggest doing exercise in the morning. That way you can start off your day with an accomplishment and feel motivated to continue being productive.

  2. Pick Up a Hobby: At the start of summer pick out something you are interested in. Whether you like watercolors, cooking, gardening or bird watching, take whatever you enjoy and make it into a hobby. Dedicate at least a few hours to your passion each week. If you do this, you will no doubt make progress in your hobby and if you track this progress through photos or records you can look back and remind yourself what you have done instead of wallowing in what you haven’t.

  3. Set Goals: Setting goals is a great way to stay motivated throughout the summer. However, I would recommend setting short term goals rather than long term. Setting 1-2 week goals that aren’t too out of reach can help push you, but not tire you out. Some goal suggestions could be to have a beach picnic, write and send 5 letters, clean your room, etc. Setting simple but rewarding goals can build healthy habits like becoming self-disciplinary.

I hope that you have found these tips helpful and your summer is full of excitement and productivity.

- Jane

Q: How do you have a conversation with someone about making it official when you’re currently in a situationship of sorts?

It’s simple, you just gotta do it. Communication is key in any type of relationship, so it’s important that you are able to have this conversation no matter how uncomfortable. The hardest part of the process of having this conversation is starting it. The thought of putting yourself in a vulnerable position sucks, I get it, but you know what sucks more? Trying to constantly figure out what your relationship is.

Just remember that nothing bad will come from this conversation. If they agree that they want to become “official” then yay! You have a significant other, congrats!!! But, if they say no then you now know that you can stop wasting time with someone who doesn’t want you (sorry).

But here’s the thing, nine times out of ten the desire to make it official is mutual (when it’s not, the other person is kind of an asshole for leading you on, sorry bud)

Once you get over that inevitable fear, you gotta just do it. Sit your person down in a safe environment where you won’t be interrupted and tell them to exactly how you feel. Explain to them that you really enjoy spending time with them or whatever and that you want to make it “official.” Whatever being “official” means to you, explain that to them so there is no confusion (eg. I would love to be officially dating or I want to be your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other). Once you’ve explained your feelings, allow room for the other person to express their’s. Good luck!!

- Ur Wise Gurly

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